the antidote for enemies

we’ve been thinking a lot lately about the notion of friends. the ingredients for beautiful, interconnected friendship. the force that draws two people into tight orbits of familiarity. the rare and earth-altering instance that a friend takes a place of family within a person’s heart.

life gets busy, communication gets proliferated, people get prioritized. the disengaged connectedness that facebook etc allows (and the recalibrating effects it’s had on the definition of a friend) have perpetuated an epidemic of mass-reaching, surface level relationships. so much so that it can affect a human’s every day behavior; the notion of friends curiously related to quantity. a rancher wrangling a herd of double-kisses.
as a result, perhaps we’ve let our guard down as to whom we allow to take those places of importance. perhaps we’ve allowed a deeper access where it was yet to be deserved. in truth, a friend is best chosen with the discretion one would choose a partner; their role in your life often as significant, as affected and affective. this class of relationship can often in fact be even more complex, if not solely for the rarity of friendship break-ups. sometimes, the toxicity is inescapable.
thus we’ve become no stranger to the idea of moving on with life, away from friends who do you wrong, rub you wrong, are just all wrong. the practice seems a natural progression forward, the soul searching out its complements for where it is in that moment. sometimes our rolling stone moves easy, those we’ve grown beyond dropping softly into the periphery. sometimes ends leave a bigger bang, the hard smack of reality leaving bruises left lingering long after their color’s faded. and sometimes people float away, drifting to a path of their own, future written serendipitous but the journey theirs to take for a while.
any way, either way, we continue to be reliant on our intuition’s perspective and the universe’s ability to dish up exactly what we need. we’re through resisting the flow, resigned to swimming the current, letting life (and people in it) come as it may. there isn’t any other way.
(image pinched from we heart it)

5 thoughts on “the antidote for enemies”

  1. Corine H says:

    Well said

  2. Anonymous says:

    more "what i wore"

  3. JB says:

    I think anonymous is saying "more controversy and divisive banter".

  4. Anonymous says:

    dear bras and ranties,

    i have been thinking about this post a lot recently, as i am thinking of giving one of my friend's the cut. there are many reasons why i want to do this, but i won't bore you with the details, in sum she just isn't who she used to be; therefore, is no longer a good friend.

    so, how do u do the cut? never really done it before. do you call your friend out on her shit (done this in the past, she didn't change), and then cut them? or do you just ignore them all together? or do u slowly distance yourself from them? tho i think this could be challenge, as she runs around telling everyone i am her best friend, tho let me tell you actions speak louder than words. what would u do?

    thanks b&r.

    cheers,

    had a enough 🙂

  5. admin says:

    feel ya, had enough. we've been there before and been similarly exasperated, the idea of breaking away from a friend seeming like unnecessary dramatics, and yet something about the person just aint right.

    if you've had the talk, called her out, attempted to work through it and been honest about what she's doing that hurts you, what's left for you to do? you have every right to move forward and move beyond her. life is too short.

    but do try your best to go gently, without pain or ill-will. the biggest shame would be for an xfriendship to be left in conflict. take your distance, re-set your boundaries and do whatever it is *you* need to do. you don't owe anybody anything.

    good luck. x bras and ranties

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