ask bras and ranties

another reader mail came our way over the weekend, our empathetic ears and fingers perked since at the chance to provide advice and opinion. in fact, what would bras and ranties do is quickly becoming one of our favorite features to pen; if only to have found a larger purpose to our madness.

dear bras and ranties. hoping you can help with something i’ve been struggling with for months. it’s about boys so i figured you may be especially useful in this department. i’ve been with my boyfriend for eight months. eight lovely months. he’s exactly what i’ve been looking for (almost): smart, kind, committed. and in love with me. the problem? the problem is the sex, or lack thereof. it’s low on frequency, energy, and compatibility. we’ve tried – believe me, we’ve tried. so what to do? does love trump sex? love, underwhelmed.

oh dear. you, my darling, are now faced with one of the toughest issues du relations that the universe can throw at you. the great in life, bad in bed boyfriend. our wisdom on the matter arrives via authentic experience, a (seemingly not as great) dude from our past undoubtedly one of the worst lays of our life. let’s just say that poor chap didn’t last long.

the experience of dating the skillfully inexperienced did, however, leave bras and ranties with a new addition to our fundamental testament: don’t marry someone unless they’re a top three lay. a little wiggle room left for the life-altering, but up there on the scale of mind-blowing. one is otherwise destined for bedroom boredom. (before you all doth protest, this principle is only our own, and does not take into consideration the chronically undersexed or the disinclined, who remain able to reprioritize. we can’t relate)the rest need to take pause and reflect upon the exceptional length of a lifetime. of the critical influence of sex within a relationship and the primitive importance of sex to human wellness. compatibility is key, as is kindness, and as is love. but, for bras and ranties, it’s simply not enough. what would bras and ranties do?

well, providing ‘really tried’ includes a trip to come as you are, and you’ve both made sincere attempts at catching each other’s wave, bras as ranties would bid that dear boy adieu. if eight months in has you antsy, the situation is quite obviously unsustainable. find a place of common ground for friendship, and introduce him to all the fabulous girls you can. he very well may find his jive with someone else.more importantly, big ups to you, underwhelmed, for having courage to step left from your man, especially if he’s a great one. too many women accept your sentiment as a way of life, the trade-off worth it in exchange for companionship (for now). sex doesn’t trump love, but fulfillment does.

5 thoughts on “ask bras and ranties”

  1. Anonymous says:

    Different point of view: real love = real passion, real passion creates organisms. Work on the strengthening the relationship and passion will come, then you cum

  2. Anonymous says:


  3. Anonymous says:

    No way, i say run like the wind… Unfourtnaly, if your sex drive doesnt match your boys, in the long run, it will cause your great agony. I SPEAK FROM EXPERIENCE.. I had the " picture perfect" relationship: This goodlooking, sucessfull sweet and socialble man of mine had an unusally low sex drive. Its not that he was bad in bed, he just didnt need it.. He was happy with maybe once a week at most, while I could probably ride at least 3-4 times.. As you can imagine, a romantic two weeks in eroupe could have been a hell of a lot better with a little more nookie.. I should have gone with my best girlfriend, we may have had more luck with the spanish locals "MARIA CHRISTINA BARCELONA ".. So naturally, I was left feeling slightly insecure and sex-starved:( Could I really live with this for the rest of my life.. Absolutly not.. As much as i loved him, i knew that in the long run, i would probably end up leaving him.. I promise, if the sex sucks at 8-months it will probably not even exist at 8 years.. It will be tough to breakup at first.. My breakup was hell on my heart a, but now that my heart has healed, I know that it couldnt have been any other way…
    So the best way to get over your "Amzaing unsexy boyfriend" is to " get under a new man ASAP"
    You and your libido will be glad you did.. Good luck and good riddance

  4. Anonymous says:

    Good sex = 10% of your relationship

    Bad sex = 90% of your relationship

    In other words, bad sex takes over your relationship.

  5. JB says:

    Anonymous 1 & 2 are destined to join the great ranks of the recently divorced, if they really believe that real love can conquer all.
    We are not all made alike, ask the sexually vanilla to sustain a solid bedroom relationship with a triple almond mocha fudge and we get ice cream hades.
    You ladies must find the balance, you cannot have one without the other. Do not forget the most important sexual organ of all is not your heart but your head!

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