another reader mail came our way over the weekend, our empathetic ears and fingers perked since at the chance to provide advice and opinion. in fact, what would bras and ranties do is quickly becoming one of our favorite features to pen; if only to have found a larger purpose to our madness.
dear bras and ranties. hoping you can help with something i’ve been struggling with for months. it’s about boys so i figured you may be especially useful in this department. i’ve been with my boyfriend for eight months. eight lovely months. he’s exactly what i’ve been looking for (almost): smart, kind, committed. and in love with me. the problem? the problem is the sex, or lack thereof. it’s low on frequency, energy, and compatibility. we’ve tried – believe me, we’ve tried. so what to do? does love trump sex? love, underwhelmed.
oh dear. you, my darling, are now faced with one of the toughest issues du relations that the universe can throw at you. the great in life, bad in bed boyfriend. our wisdom on the matter arrives via authentic experience, a (seemingly not as great) dude from our past undoubtedly one of the worst lays of our life. let’s just say that poor chap didn’t last long.
the experience of dating the skillfully inexperienced did, however, leave bras and ranties with a new addition to our fundamental testament: don’t marry someone unless they’re a top three lay. a little wiggle room left for the life-altering, but up there on the scale of mind-blowing. one is otherwise destined for bedroom boredom. (before you all doth protest, this principle is only our own, and does not take into consideration the chronically undersexed or the disinclined, who remain able to reprioritize. we can’t relate)the rest need to take pause and reflect upon the exceptional length of a lifetime. of the critical influence of sex within a relationship and the primitive importance of sex to human wellness. compatibility is key, as is kindness, and as is love. but, for bras and ranties, it’s simply not enough. what would bras and ranties do?
well, providing ‘really tried’ includes a trip to come as you are, and you’ve both made sincere attempts at catching each other’s wave, bras as ranties would bid that dear boy adieu. if eight months in has you antsy, the situation is quite obviously unsustainable. find a place of common ground for friendship, and introduce him to all the fabulous girls you can. he very well may find his jive with someone else.more importantly, big ups to you, underwhelmed, for having courage to step left from your man, especially if he’s a great one. too many women accept your sentiment as a way of life, the trade-off worth it in exchange for companionship (for now). sex doesn’t trump love, but fulfillment does.