we always grin knowingly when a man offers up appreciation (devotion) for bras and ranties; sheepish at his admittance, as if one click of a mouse in a thousand somehow matters. we immediately reassure him that it doesn’t make him seem gay, that he is in fact is one of many bras and ranties’ boys and send him on his way. but not after he admits to us that there’s too much fashion for his liking. pssh.
we will save the opportunity to rantie about the lack of stylistic vision the men in this town possess, as we had intended this post to be one for the boys. proof positive of the their compadres. their needs addressed, desires attended to. as always, it comes back to the vagine.
thank you to a kindly man-reader for introducing us to a whole new level. ideas amaze us, even in vaginal form evidently. introducing vulva: the scent of a woman’s vagina (actually) captured in a bottle for your recreational use.
though we do believe we’ve found one of the world’s sexiest scents (we’ll never tell) we’d also be the first to wax philosophic earth mother about chemistry, pheromones, animalistic attractions. but this shit is, like, actually vagina juice. that you roll on. sniff sniff.
the prudes dismiss it as niche: sexual hobbyists, fetish fulfillment, private use. after all, what women wants a man that smells like someone else’s pousse-pousse? but lest we not forget: there are a lot of weird dudes out there. there are dudes who fuck flashlights, dudes who marry pillows. soon enough, there may be dudes all over town bathed in bottled cum. sorry mom.
jpotvin says:
Wow… that's just plain awesome.
Anonymous says:
i'm gonna take that vagina spray and spray it on guys who are my competition so other girls won't be attracted to them
Anonymous says:
Call me old fashioned, but the differences in vaginal odour varies so much from flower beds to KFC buckets. If this is going to work, there has to be some quality control or we could be walking into a club that smells like the back end of St Lawrence market …
Anonymous says:
That's hilarious Anon 3, and I'm a female!
Anonymous says:
Please review the purpose and correct use of the semi-colon. You're embarrassing yourself!
Anonymous says:
Please look up the definition of asshole in the dictionary and you will see yourself. Thanks tips.
jb says:
With all this said, 99.9% of which I agree, it is left to us the connoisseurs of the Nectar from the depths to savour the morning, sipping that which our esteemed writer cannot buy from her delinquent Starbucks.
Our task, should we accept, is to brand our outlets. In the same way that MAC became the venue of choice for aspiring women in the 90's we must create an outlet for our product. Sephora here we come!! Applicants for "nose interns" accepted.
Anonymous says:
iy yi yi!
What is to come from this?? There are some things to be left alone and stay, as it should, under the covers. A waft from a granny-like cloud of doused (er, douched?) Vulva as you get into a crowded elevator, waiting at the DMV, subway, or in an office meeting?? Tween boys spraying it on each other, AXE-like commercials, inhaling during a sweaty game of pick up basketball, mixed in with the hockey gear twang, department store clerks spraying on passer-bys? It could also give a whole new definition of Old Spice. Yikes! Vulva, is just tasteless!
Next up, quiff for men? I just puked.
Anonymous says:
But, realistically speaking, why would a man want to smell like a woman? Would it not make more sense for a man to smell like a man, to turn us girls on? And us girls to use the Vulva to attract the men? People are attracted to ones natural scent they like (like animals)…unless of course you're a man wearing the Vulva trying to attract that lesby for your fantasy three-way..? Just a thought!
-MS
Anonymous says:
i agree MS. a man should smell like a man. i want a real man not a pussy!