hate mail

my my my.

it only took one day for me to receive my first piece of hate mail! an impressive feat, though fairly expected and somewhat anticlimactic.
How many “xboyfriends” have you had??? Seems to me that you won’t need to turn down a man’s name, as it looks like the opportunity for a man to offer you his name has passed. Maybe you should think about a nose job???? Best of Luck Pinocchio. Anonymous.

1048am. an early riser. for the record, future replies to hate mail won’t happen before noon, since i’m usually still in bed, doing things that don’t involve my blogette. i digress.

dear anonymous.

i suspect you are attempting to ask me how many xboyfriends DO i have, to which the answer is three (that count). if you were actually intending to ask me how many xboyfriends HAVE i had, my somewhat befuddled answer would be ‘lots, i guess, wait, huh?’.

with regard to the nose job, i have oft-thought about having one actually! can’t handle the thought of what goes down during the procedure though.

Plastic surgery of the nose begins when the rhinoplasty surgeon makes an incision either inside the nose or across the skin that separates the nostrils (this skin is called the columella). The cartilage and bone that make up the framework of the nose are then exposed and sculpted with tools, to create the desired shape and profile. The plastic surgeon then stitches the skin back into place to complete the nose surgery.

shudder. plus, i’m worried about the ‘jennifer grey’ factor. you know, when you change your nose and all of a sudden you look boring? i’ve decided i much prefer my more angluar, austere schnoz…much to the chagrin of my father.

i appreciate your wishing me luck, though somewhat unsure how i resemble a wooden boy, what with these tits! and best of luck in life to YOU…it’s a tough world out there for guys with tiny wangs. mwah! xxx

4 thoughts on “hate mail”

  1. Anonymous says:

    I say fuck the haters! They’re just jealous that they arn’t and never will be as fabulous as you.

  2. Jane says:

    Jen. You are the shiz.

  3. iamlaura says:

    you are good and brave for posting this. it’s too easy for her to make those low blows (and lame ones…Pinocchio?…snore) thinking that she will be anonymous and that you will be too hurt to print her suckfullness.

    she underestimated you.

  4. A Leyland says:

    Fabulous behavior Jen. I’m curious about what happens before noon tho …

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