our twitter friends are well-aware of bras and ranties’ obession with the hills and the city, but in the instance you late adopters remain unawares, we thought we’d take this opportunity to self promote. of course!
all in all we are much more enjoying the city than the hills (though we do adore spencer pratt and we squealed when we saw he was following us) but the city’s got the clothes, the bitch and the boys. we mean, really.
sadly, over the hills we see speidi wrapped up in some producer-fauxed baby mama drama, with heidi now psychoanalazying her psychotic decision to go off the birth control pill and surprise dear spencer with a baby. bras and ranties boos.
however unbeknownst to mrs pratt, she’s quite inspired bras and ranties this evening. in fact, her mistake is our very gain. you see, heidi has made us realize this: every single woman who is engaged should go off the pill before marrying her husband.
bras and ranties aint no biologist, but we do know that the pill tricks a woman’s body (with hormones from a horse, by the by) into thinking she is pregnant. month after month after month. for years. meaning every month – no egg.
when a woman is ovulating, she craves a different sort of man. these are the sort of men bras and ranties likes to call lumberjacks. they’re masculine, they’re huge, they protect us and they’re sweaty. they are exactly the sort of man nature inclines us to procreate with.
when a woman is not ovulating, her filter gets fucked up. those hormones aren’t present, so the man-bar gets lowered. she lets whiny guys, investment wankers, and douchebags get places they were not intended. she marries him, goes off the pill, hates his guts, and the divorce rate continues to climb.