this was [honestly] overheard today:

of course i’m going. all the socials are.

please. i (unfortunately) know a girl who, when asked what she does for a living, used to provide the response that she was a socialite. in truth, nothing about this girl qualified her as a socialite, with the exception of her unrelenting quest to have her picture taken.

funnily enough, around the time that the city‘s olivia palermo started branding herself a ‘social’ (the evolved form of socialite, i gather?) this useless twit followed suit.

apparently it’s caught on.

i personally believe that, save for a select few, socialites don’t really exist in this town. nor should they. however the number of young women who seem fixated on inclusion within this classification is undeniable. and, to be honest, it’s laughable.

i would like to be part of a society where the people who influence culture are actually worthwhile. they are people who evolve opinions and art. they are people who inspire and are inspired. they are not these fools. there are too many of these fools.

would love to hear your thoughts.

36 thoughts on “overheard.”

  1. Anonymous says:

    Absolutely — there is no room for pretentious losers in our city (or any other for that matter.) We should all aspire to something to something much greater than this.

  2. Jonathan says:

    so by this rationale, where do real socialites dwell? Manhattan, Beverly Hills, certainly Palm Beach?? I’d love to know who the girl you are referring to is, because certainly a genuine socialite would refer to themselves as a phalanthropist or something of the like. They’re all losers by the way.

  3. Anonymous says:

    socialite – another word for unemployed.

  4. Ally says:

    I sooo know who you are talking about (lol). I couldn’t agree more!

  5. Jonathan says:

    who was it Ally? can you atleast email me the name. I don’t mean to be a bitch, but I’m kind of curious now since it made it’s way all the way to Jen’s blog?

  6. Anonymous says:

    So true jen! most of the “socialites” in this town are unambitious little wannabes who are unwilling to put in the work for anything real, and instead of striving for more have embraced their lazy uninspired selves and stamped themselves with this term! LAME

  7. Anonymous says:

    It is spelled “philanthropist”. Wiktionary.com should be in your Bookmarks from now on.

  8. Amanda says:

    Dearest "John",

    Toronto Socialites dwell throughout the entire GTA. Yes, it's true; we have taken parts of Little Italy, The Beach, Etobicoke..heck! some of us even hover on the border of the Scarborough bluffs. We're taking over, John and when we have fully conquered all, we will teach eloquent gentlemen like yourself how to spell. Starting with the word, "philanthropist".

    Dearest "Bras & Ranties",

    If you are going to take the plunge and attempt to publicly hang someone, have the courage to, in the very least, state their name. Obviously you have given them enough energy and thought to "blog" about there very existence, so it's only polite to give credit due where credit is earned. And it is cowardly. That's goes for ALL of you who lurk behind the veil of anonymity.

    You write a blog. You use this bottom-tier media cred to get you in to the parties to write about us "Socials" that have been invited in through the front door. Remember this Bras and Ranties. We certainly will.


    Social A


  9. Anonymous says:

    Bras and Ranties……. pray tell, and we are all itching, as you knew we would be, with curiosity as to who you are referring to.

    Obviously, one has to assume that this girl, is perhaps a young woman who feels so confident within her own skin to refer to herself as a SOCIALITE – Bravo! How can you you be so shallow as to not print the name of the person when you are spitting out something so juicey? ….COWARD!

    What a catty blog Bras and Ranties, and before I continue I have to congratulate you for worming your way onto the social scene, something that you have long desired and you have now proven yourself to be a First Class Wannabe.

    Now lets get back to the term SOCIALITE and the person who has obviously got your knickers in a knot….What exactly is a socialite?

    A socialite has or should have the following credentials:-

    – The right background
    – Proper education, perhaps with a stint abroad
    – Well travelled
    – Is on the invitation list to all of the
    – Most importantly, SOCIALIZES – after all,
    you need this quality to become a SOCIALITE!
    – People are drawn to socialites, and they in
    turn make friends easily
    – Charisma
    – Philanthropic (Jonathan note, there is that
    word again!)
    – Well put together even on bummy days and lastly, photographers and media love socialites.

    With all of the above credentials then the “girl” that you know (whose name you have obviously choked on and sadly cannot spit out) who you then refer to as “a twit” is in her own standing a socialite, and how sad that it has upset you so much to write such a nasty blog.

    Ally, who is sadly cut from the same cloth and seems to be enjoying your nasty piece of writing, also knows who you are referring to and is also chocking…. Ladies, move forward, enjoy yourselves and….get a life!

    Before closing, I have to admit that perhaps I detected from Bras and Ranties just a teeny, itsy, bit of jealousy from a first class wannabe!

    On this note, I shall remain,

  10. admin says:

    yah. nice try guys…

    the point of this post was to state that true ‘socialites’ should be all of those things AND MORE.

    i grew up quite privileged, and still am one of the lucky ones. for this i am extremely grateful. the point of this was not to knock anyone who shares a similar background. i’m simply saying that your background is not enough.

    i believe that those people who are in positions of influence in society should (ideally) be the people who are helping to better society. quite a few socialites/socials (if you will) currently do this. and many do it with class and composure, bringing to the city enriched experiences, cause awareness and unique points of view. this is by NO MEANS my issue.

    the issue that i have is that many do not, including this particular young woman who i have chosen not to name (truth be told) out of respect for her privacy.

    my blogette is a forum for me to discuss greater perspectives and observations that i have about the society we live in; not a medium to trash any particular person. i often speak of people that many of us know, but i will never name names and that’s that. i’ve got enough enemies as it is.

    it is just a plea for authenticity, really. to strive to classify yourself as a socialite is something that i find particularly shallow. this is my opinion, because this is my blog.

    the world has much more to offer, and (i hope) that you have more to offer the world. i’m simply saying…be more.

    for my last guest-commenter: before you tout the virtues of your “proper (?) education with a stint abroad” perhaps you could benefit from an english lesson. there are three spelling errors in your post, and many more grammatical inconsistencies. happy to help if you need a tutorial.

    and finally, for you all. my blogette is not catty. if you read it this way, you are misinterpreting my voice. my blogette is raw, and it is real, just like me. if you don’t like it, why are you reading it?

  11. ~Dickie says:

    First off Newts, Bravo on the controversy…and well done to keep the socialite anonymous.

    Those that responded with calls of cowardice either [1] completely misinterpreted your post or [2] were just trying to get you fired up enough that you’d drop the name in an act of self-defence.

    Either way, the meaning that I think you were getting at is dead on, but has obviously been missed on most.

    To Amanda – I’m always hesitant to use the word ironic because I despise improper usage of grammatical devices, but I’m pretty sure that writing a response to a blog post, in which you demean the blog author for being a member of the bottom-tier media, pretty much defines irony. If this is such a lower-tier medium then why are you posting responses, let alone reading the posts in the first place. (For clarity, my intention is not to discourage you from posting in the future, as I actually found your comments quite well written and reasonably amusing, it would just be nice if next time you thought through your comments first.)

    Anonymous – see you at Lobby!

  12. Morad Reid Affifi says:

    To Bras and Ranties….
    keep up the great work

    Toronto’s Socialites…
    you think that getting your picture in The National Post (circulation 1,000) qualifies you to be socialite? we live in TORONTO…a city a whole near and dear…but people…this is a sleeper town, a town with a small population of people who think that this is the center of the cultural universe…after moving back from Montreal years ago…it took about a week before being invited to the hot parties, the exclusive store openings, the screenings, and the vernisages…it’s so easy to become a social! wow! forget about the education and being well dressed on rainy days…guys and girls, if you want to be a social, just grow a mustache and bust out crazy hip-gyrating dance moves….

    if you want to be a SOCIALITE in Toronto…and call yourself a “social”, go ahead! Just do me one favor…when you’re in New York, Paris, London, or Sydney…tell whomever you meet that you’re a Toronto “social” and time how long they laugh at you…

  13. Anonymous says:

    love this debate – totally made my day.

  14. Anonymous says:

    socialites are so cliche.
    just like ‘hipsters’.

    just like most people who live in toronto.

  15. Ally says:

    Well put Mo!

    Really at the end of the day there are two types of people in this world. Those who make a contribution and those who don’t.

    There are so many people in our city who are doing so much good through their volunteer work (looking at you Morad and countless others), getting involved in community initiatives, taking seats on boards (those that raise funds to support disease research or inequality in our city) and getting out there and trying to make our city, our country and our world a better place.

    Let’s support these people, their work and their efforts and forget about the rest.

    Which reminds me — A huge thank you to all of you who supported our efforts this year for the MS Walk.

    Thanks to your generosity we raised over $6,500.00 for MS Research – that is a grand total of $26,000.00 that Team Ashley has contribute to MS Research over the past three years but we couldn’t have done it without your support, so Thank you!!!

    Now, everyone go out there today and do something good. Your soul will thank you for it 🙂

  16. Ally says:

    And yes, that was shameful promotion for my cause – feel free to give 🙂

  17. Anonymous says:

    Socialite : a person who is well known in fashionable society and is fond of social activities and entertainment.

    Toronto?? Fashionable society?? Not since back in the days of Signy Eaton, Marys Early and Carr-Harris, Rosemary Rathgeb and Zina Cherry!! LOL. Those days of marrying rich men to gain “socialite” status are long over. Now you are all just working girls!!

  18. Anonymous says:

    RE: ‘A socialite has or should have the following credentials: [looking for clarification for myself cuz i’ve always aspired to be a ‘social’]

    – The right background – check [is there a wrong background?]
    – Proper education, perhaps with a stint abroad – check [does this mean private school?]
    – Well travelled – check
    – Is on the invitation list to all of the “socials” – not sure
    – Most importantly, SOCIALIZES – after all, you need this quality to become a SOCIALITE! – check
    – People are drawn to socialites, and they in turn make friends easily – check
    – Charisma – check
    – Philanthropic – check
    – Well put together even on bummy days and lastly, photographers and media love socialites.- meh
    – if I add one more, umm, say a career….say, um, doctor….would that make me a doctor or a socialite? Or a doctor-lite?
    Is there any way to vote these ‘socials’ off the island to see if they can find their way back??
    I’ll leave it with a quote from Paris:
    “Every woman should have four pets in her life. A mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed, and a jackass who pays for everything.”

    hmm, I guess I’m a ‘jack-er’. Fun.

  19. Jonathan B says:

    “Bras and Ranties……. pray tell, and we are all itching, as you knew we would be, with curiosity as to who you are referring to.”
    – Anonymous
    Why don’t you quit using the anonymous handle and tell us who you are.

    Life is what you make it, so is the city, there’s 6mm people here and T.o is the most cosmopolitan city in the world as in the most diverse. Our banking system is clearly superior to that of the United States and Toronto is the center of commerce in Canada, we have the most natural resources perhaps in the world here in Canada and we are the largest exporter of oil into the United States in the world. All of these activities are underwritten here in Toronto. There are more cranes being utilized right now in Toronto than any other city including Dubai. There’s massive growth on the move here. You shouldn’t be shitting on your own city. As for the arts, well have the filn festival and at least we have an Opera House now.

  20. Julias says:

    “RE: ‘A socialite has or should have the following credentials: [looking for clarification for myself cuz i’ve always aspired to be a ‘social’]”
    – Anonymous

    That was the most hurting post I’ve read this week. You simply sound like you’Re trying to be nouveau riche.
    Just call yourself a philanthropist you clown.

  21. Anonymous says:

    Firstly Toronto is a cool city – but these apparent “socials” tend to view it as the centre of the Universe. Unfortunately for them most of these so called Toronto “Socials” would be mocked if they ever tried to make it in New York, Paris or London.

    As for this insane list of what being a socialite entails – what sad person wrote that? It simply helps prove Bras and Ranties point. There is nothing wrong with anything on that list, but when you put them all together and you convince yourself that those characteristics some how make you superior – you just enforce what everyone hates about socialites; that they are dumb flakey girls with no life aside from their desperate please for attention. How sad that you define yourself by such shallow ideals.

    Now for the good stuff…
    Let’s have it out. If our dear blogger won’t tell us who she is talking about, how about we just list off some names and see who we ourselves can come up with. Go through the last 4 months of the National Post and pick out every hard partying blonde who went to private school and who’s greatest ambition is to marry money… that should narrow it down right?

  22. Phili the Clown says:

    ‘You simply sound like you’re trying to be nouveau riche.’

    Wait…trying to be nouveau riche??? Really??? Trying?? To be rich (rich is rich, ridiculous French twist within an English sentence notwithstanding)? No way.

    But seriously, Julias, do you have any Grey Poupon?

    Using the phrase wannabe nouveau riche as an insult in a blog post about ridic socialites and then calling someone a philanthropist clown…?
    that’s it, the white gloves are coming off, someone’s going to get a bucket of confetti thrown at them!

  23. Elizabeth Green says:

    I don’t understand what the two ‘socials’ who have commented on your blog are going on about (I have to assume they consider themselves socials, otherwise why so upset?). Did they actually read the blog or just see the word ‘social’ and go on the attack?!?!

    You are right brasandranties, we should pay far more attention to, as you put it “the people who influence culture are actually worthwhile”.

    If anything, these ‘socials’ who have commented here Anonymously (and they call you a coward?! Kettle, meet Pot. Pot, meet Kettle) have actually done you a favour, as their vapid and catty comments legitimize your blog. Really, otherwise they wouldn’t have created that pathetic ‘I am a social check-list’. Hilarious, and a bit sad, but only if you consider yourself a ‘social’ I guess.

  24. Anonymous says:

    I just gagged in my mouth reading this…all of it.

    Bras and Ranties – you were being a bitch and insulting a group of women who like to refer to themselves as “socials”…because of your social life and following on this blog, you were obviously aware of the fact that many of these self ascribed “socials” would read that blog and feel a modicum of shame.
    Socials – by virtue of your posts, it is obvious that Bras and Ranties was successful in making you feel like a bunch of douche bags and you subsequently went for blood. However, your replies read as personal, vindicitive and oh so shallow.
    A piece of advice for all readers and debaters on this blog – if you want to be a socialite, good on you. Go for it, call yourself a social, rock that trust account and be fucking fabulous. But I leave you with a quick tip: being fabulous means you don’t give a shit what other people think of said fabulousness. You are so amazing that you rise above, always. You do not attempt to use such charisma and luck to make others feel unworthy or less, you use it to make others do exactly what it is you really want them to do…envy you.
    As for Bras and Ranties, your point was missed on those two “socials” who commented but alas, you and I both know you were dying for a reaction. So enjoy!

  25. Anonymous says:

    ^^ Bravo!

    As an aside, since when does travelling to Europe and being born into money qualify as credentials? Clearly the person who posted that list has not yet been subject to good educatiion (which would likely be at the top of any rational person’s list)!

  26. Anonymous says:

    Ps. The notion of a socialite has died because it was a terrible concept to begin with! The term has historically been based on class, wealth, and race. Why would anyone want to revive a concept that was designed to exclude people who were not homogeneous?

  27. Anonymous says:

    i would never call myself a toronto socialite because thats embarrassing!

  28. A professional women says:

    This link has been making its way around our law firm. The majority of the women in our office (who by the way are married, with children and who obviously have been very well educated – we are lawyers), were just appalled by the stance these so-called socials take in their own ‘defense’.

    The majority of the men in our office who have read this blog entry said that if they were looking for a ‘trophy wife’ I guess one of these social girls would do but that they would never know if these girls were into them because they cared about them or just because they were after their money. Many went on to say that they would most likely get bored and cheat down the road because looks only last for so long and if there isn’t anything else going on, you are in real trouble down the road.

    Only one man in our office said that’d he would happily marry one of these socials because and I quote “I spend all day with attractive, intelligent women who offer up opinions. When I get home at the end of a long day, I don’t need some ditzy broad trying to make conversation with me. All she should do is look good, keep her mouth shut and her legs open.” And yes ladies, he is single – if any of the socials are interested, let us know. Clearly he is a keeper!

    I fear for our society and future generations if women are striving to become ‘social’.

    It’s women like this that give the rest of us a bad name.

    It is because of women like this that professional women have to work twice as hard as their male counterparts to prove themselves and demystify the exact myth that these women are striving to achieve.

    It is because of women like this that little girls grow-up thinking that they could never be anymore than a wife and mother, when we should be encouraging them to be a wife and a mother, while being a lawyer, or a doctor or a journalist or a designer.

    Is it just that these socials don’t possess any tangible skills and are therefore not able to contribute to society? Or is it that they feel a sense of entitlement and just can’t be bothered? Regardless, what a sad existence for one who recognizes that all they have to go on in life is their looks and their ability to smile and nod while holding a champagne flute. The fact that they are clearly proud of this accomplishment only makes it that more pathetic.

  29. Maargi Leitch says:

    Well, since everyone seems to get their own two sense… Well done to Jennifer (Miss Blogette) for stimulating such a charged debate! At this point, who knows if Social A even exists, and who cares?

    This blog has brought up some really fascinating points of view ranging from elitism, to classism (there is a difference), to feminism (I’m not sure if the threat about Husbands Cheating on Socials was really necessary from the earlier commenter?).

    Frankly, I don’t think Socials hamper the feminist movement. Partly because they are such an oddity (10 girls zooming around Toronto doesn’t undo 40+ of hard work, or countless Germaine-Greer themed novels/ speeches/ movies/ tv series)- if that were the case, the office of Vanity Fair would have been stormed by angry women at this point. In fact, they may enhance certain aspects of feminism.

    With this bunch out of the mix, it leaves more doors open for other hard working, but realistic individuals. In this day in age, when my personal celebrity favourites (Tamara Mellon, Princess Rania, even Gwyneth Paltrow) need to show the world evidence of a meritocracy (ie. their commitment to a day job), it makes me wonder who considers work elective?

    “Must be nice”… right? That is an expression I loathe and despise. It reflects bitterness. So, if people want to brand themselves, and work does more damage to their tax status… well… who cares?

    For all the people who went on (ad nauseum) about how Toronto doesn’t legitimize certain standards of Elitism… well, I’m sort of glad to hear that, actually. Sometimes European social rules can be suffocating. In Spain, for example, both last names are used (husbands take on a hyphen, and children almost always have both parents last names (this way, the whole world can trace lineage! of both parents! Oh what fun!) and this habit still exists today. Cities like London, and Paris are wonderful- but something they have in common rails so harshly against North American spirit: people are branded by their accent. This is still a horrific reality, in 2009, for some people in some social circles. It leads to Dickensian type prejudice. I’m sorry to my English friends, and you all know how I feel about this anyway. And to my Really English friends, we all agree the accent debate is really one of the most pettiest of issues- like debating the merits of fox hunting or something.

    But back to Dickensian snobbery. It brings me to my second point: Bigotry is a funny word, isn’t it? And if there was one year to celebrate the Death To Bigotry, I’d say 2008 was it. It’s safe to say that Bigotry creates a pretty disadvantaged outlook, regardless of your current financial status. Which is why North America is so refreshing- that decayed idea of aristocracy doesn’t work with aspects of meritocracy.

    My problem, is that Snobbery, if applied in a vulgar way, reflects bigotry, which is why I’m not a huge fan of structured classes among society.

    At any rate, some people have all the luck! Including us readers, who hopefully have had a few sparkly run ins with glamour, enough to know that it’s fun while it lasts, but so too is a feeling of accomplishment associated with the graft of work (which often leads to sacrificing those more glamorous times). To those who lead lives filled with vacations to Mustique and filled up social calendars, hooray to you too. I love looking at happy people in the social pages, it reminds me of days gone by… And to the blogger who came up with this incredible idea, congratulations! These are the things that make me happy about the internet.

    Thank you, maargi

  30. Anonymous says:

    “Unfortunately for them most of these so called Toronto “Socials” would be mocked if they ever tried to make it in New York” – Anonymous

    but really who cares what jew york thinks? Toronto is way cooler than the big bagel! fuck them!

  31. Anonymous says:

    7:02 pm – fan of Hitler’s? This is uncalled for.

  32. Anonymous says:

    It is pretty sad to see that people really care in Toronto about if ‘socialite’s do exist here – if they do then they have to deal with their rather empty existances don’t they…

  33. iamlaura says:

    a big thank you to everyone here. you are why i love the internet.

  34. Will says:

    This whole trail of debate is fascinating with so many interesting points from both sides…

    I’d like to think we can all strive to be secure enough in ourselves not to hate others for their real or perceived shortcomings.

    Best quote prize goes to Phili the Clown for: “The white gloves are coming off, someone’s going to get a bucket of confetti thrown at them!” – I intend on using this somehow this week.

  35. Anonymous says:


    Why dontcha all go save Darfur or something? “And the rest of you, just rattle your jewelry”.

    Pathetic to an extreme.

  36. Anonymous says:

    Aug 09.. so what is our self-proclaimed socialite up to these days ?
    Poor thing..she's just trying to fit in with the big boys.
    Ah, youth… and lucky, probably never had to go to the "school of hard knocks" so hasn't developed the sense of priorities yet, life is still all play
    .. and if she stepped foot in Manhatten ? Unless she's of Vanderbilt status, they'll just pat her on the head and tell her to be a good little girl and go play with her toys

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