as we flew home last night we found our mind wandering, pondering our closest friends. recently battling tough days (even tougher revelations) it’s become to us quite clear: no one is possibly harder on themselves than a woman. work v craft. hobbies v passions. relationships, sometimes for the sake of them. crises and curiosities of fundamental identity. we exist in a vortex, challenges there constant: do more. think more. be more.
the quest for better often (unkindly) extends its reach to the relationship we have with our bodies, so many of us on a perpetual treadmill toward the unattainable. thinner. leaner. perkier. a little more here. a little less there. compares, contrasts (whether against subjects real or fantasy). catty comments purposed, hurled to hurt (the insults of the unimaginative).
only once have we ourself flirted a bit too heavily with the dangerous line, let focus morph to fixation as both our body (and our chi) slowly shrank away. first to go was the boobs: they are real, they are spectacular, and they are a leading indicator of our poundage. the rest of us quickly followed suit, until we all but resembled an eleven year old boy. not. hot.
the rest of the time our weight sits in direct proportion to our happiness: the more we have of one, the more of the other. our contentment inspires a little extra: dates spent dishing delectable, afternoons spent in bed when we should have been on the bosu. the lbs of love, heavy with happiness. hell, our man even asks for more: cultivate our curves, revel in our womanhood.
so what of the discrepancy, men finding feminine what women try maniacally to minimize? where went our raphaelite appreciation, disrupting long-standing definition of a beautiful body? we look around us (sticks for limbs, bones for bosom) and wonder why when where and how the fuck this became the norm? why anything but leaves some girls in despair, worried, shamed.
down with the notion that stick-thin (sick-thin) is desirable. down with your desire to look that way at all. brasandranties chooses to live healthy, live happy, live free from the bullying such bullshit imparts. instead we’ll use our blogette to thus-declare: we are fucking beautiful, just as we are. we feel it. we look it. we know it. and we hope you know you’re beautiful too.
Catherine says:
agree whole-heartedly.
my heroines are Nigella Lawson & Christina Hendricks: lush, ripe women who enjoy life, love, & food. that ugly "eat less" shirt at American Outfitters should be changed to read "accept & revel".
kudos. great post.
AOK says:
very, very well put! And I will remind myself of this during Booty Camp 🙂 Hope the weekend was fab xo
Emma says:
100% agree with you Anon.. I've dealt with a lifetime of people thinking I'm anorexic just because I'm a stick-insect. I love my Big Macs, I love my beer, and I have no idea where they go once inside of me…
Kellie says:
So when I had my zulu tits out pumping away, I inspired you? Awesome! Love you just as you are too xx
Anonymous says:
thank you for this reminder;
i never feel thin enough,
i never feel beautiful enough.
xobolaji says:
gorgeous post. and as always insightful and relevant. thank you.
there's a beautiful blog called Fatshionista by leslie kinzel. she writes about "body politics" in a way that makes complete sense. mostly she writes from a place "outside" the popular culture in that she does not "fit" the standardized "rules of acceptance" in terms of her appearance, and dare i say, her thinking as well.
recently she wrote abt "madonna, lady gaga and breaking the male gaze…" it's a terrific argument about how our images of beauty are male-indentified, and how they instruct and inform our concept of beauty/self, and the way we walk in the world. it reads a bit "post-grad" in the sense that many of her terms are not typically used in the everyday discourse of pop-culture, but she does situate the argument in terms that one can understand and feel included in the discussion.
here's the post. a bit long, but well-worth the time.
http://www.fatshionista.com/cms/index.php?option=com_mojo&Itemid=69&p=412
xobolaji
TheStory says:
Women shouldn't fret so much about their bodies… In general men love women regardless of the shapes and sizes. Look around the evidence is there. Men love a variety of women. Haven't you noticed we are simple, easy to please beings… Men just want a women with a good heart and if she comes with a fantastic round bottom so be it… BTW love the bum on the branch… #fetish