can someone please ‘splain why there are an inordinate amount of married men (friends!) lately who have been behaving like snakes and hitting on me? it just happened again tonight and i’m positively vomitous.
first of all, dude: fuck. you. for trying to cheat on your lady. think you can do better? try it, i dare you.
second: is this how you’re looking for it – really? hitting up old girlfriends out of nowhere, or hitting on platonic fracquaintances at the bar? scoff! you can’t even argue that you were wrapped up in an all-consuming, sordid love affair (not that this is an excuse…i swear) it’s simply about fucking some chick that’s not your wife.
third: in case you’re not yet aware, the only reason you’re attempting to land some autre-ass is because you feel like shit about yourself. you thought you were the man and instead you woke up one day fatter, balder, droopier and greyer than ever before, complete with a pair of snot-rats and a wife who promises not to wear her pjs two nights a week. where’d your life go, you ask yourself? down the shitter with your dignity, mofo.
fourth (and most importantly): why in god’s good name do you think a girl like me would even go there? have you seen me? had a conversation with me? are you retarded?
i wish i had more of a theory on this, but frankly i’m too vexed. the best i can come up with is what we’ve known all along – too often, couples who shouldn’t marry get married. and men are left desperate to feel alive. and yet all they feel is bored.
well boo fucking hoo. you sealed the deal, man. you may not have always been scum,..in fact, you may be a great dude. but all you are right now is a dickhead.