we possess unending curiosity about this strange (absurd) world in which we exist. in fact, we can often be find cerebrally wandering from conversations, a lovely chat changing shape suddenly to a static noise, trying mightily to interrupt the frequency of our philosophic inspiration. most often we lose our grip on these daydreams and land softly back in reality, rendered only slightly confused as to what it is we’ve missed. but those notions are left behind deep in the mind – in the gut – like planted seeds. or buried bombs, depending.
such is the case lately with the notion of friendships, in both subject matter and ideology. growing up absent of hometown roots placed an expiry date on most of our relationships, oceanic distances and snail mail the perfect recipe for letting go. even after landing, after settling down, we remained choiceful of our confidantes. we went for quality.
and then came facebook. and with it, the actual definition of a friend altered its course, watered down its virtues, shifted its paradigm. it even invented new permutations of the word. and all of a sudden, we each had hundreds (sometimes thousands) of friends. suddenly, those from whom we’d have chosen to keep our distance became ever-connected, ever-aware. those whose presence rubs us rough suddenly a mainstay in our every day. the notion of keeping one’s friends close, enemies closer now lost its meaning, since both are watching your every move anyway.
so we all became too fucking nice.
facebook, twitter and their inevitable evolutions are now a breeding ground for what bras and ranties hates most: being fake. filled with people so concerned with perceptions that they choose to be vanilla. choose to be switzerland, fearful of labels, branding, association. fearful of being disliked. passive aggression (our pet peeve) reigns; subtle jabs, electronic eyes to the heavens as far as the feeble are willing to push. more comfortable standing pressed against the back wall; a blurry field of flowers blending into one another, a far cry from monet.
and so all around us sensitivities rage; insulting and offending now what seems an inevitable aftershock of our (apparently over-) confident, aggressive stance. words starting wars, polarizing with each post. why? well, we won’t tell you what you want to hear, coating your ego with a saccharine bubble wrap. we won’t pretend you’re right when you’re not. we’re going to tell it to you straight (it’s what we’d say to your face anyway). we’re just being real. if more of us were, the world (and twitter) would be a much cooler place.
and that’s the thing about people who mean everything they say; they think everyone else does too (khaled hosseini)
15 thoughts on “rantie”
Michelle B says:
This is exactly why we love brasandranties, from the depths. Down with fakery!
Amen to both – brasandranties and Michelle B.
So long have I aspired to completely ignore the fake beings haunting my past… facebook initially made it impossible but since becoming more of a tweet than facebookian it's getting easier and easier every day! And twitter is becoming cooler, the more I find people who are trying to do the same. Kudos for being one of those people, brasandranties.
My favourite are the people who request your friendship on facebook yet pass you without a glance on the street. It makes one feel so cheap. They just wanted the skinny on what's happening with you, curious of how your life unfolded, not in the least interested in being your "friend".
How do we un-do this? Erasing friends leads to even more unneccessary drama with people you don't care to have to think about.
B+R, what shall you do next?
i broke up with facebook. feels great.
funny how the girl who writes about 'being fake' never shows her face and isn't actually that nice
Chris U says:
Further to this, I think that the structure of Facebook/Twitter communication [a "successful" post yields RTs and "likes"] lends itself to an end goal of validation/consensus, rather than willful personal expression.
we all know she isn't nice.
that's how i originally 'met' her .. 'that chick is a bitch. stay away from her'.
you'd think that with all of this 'chi' & 'fake' talk, she's be more apt to work on herself. (and i don't mean, by getting your did or getting a new outfit)
but i guess not.
some of these comments…..meow
Great post. I think our hyper connectivity may even be the dilemma of our (or rather, my) generation. On one side, studies upon studies prove the human brain cannot process these mass amounts of “friends” with whom we’ve developed these online relationships.
However, to some extents our hyper connectivity is attributed to greater functioning minds (pew internet project study) and made us the greatest generation of networkers (The Wall Street Journal).
In defense of social media…
Personally, these social tools have been the source of jobs, friends, roommates, lovers and even bitter battles. I’ve been able to leverage them to get free shit like tickets to events and, most recently, an iPod touch. I’ve been able to meet cool people on random trips and stay close with them for years after – all thanks to these tools.
In defense of common sense…
We’re all guilty of “friending” people we don’t necessarily like; but, alas, ‘tis the age of voyeurism… So, why are we being hypocrites and throwing stones at glass houses? (By “we” I mean everyone, myself included).
Thanks to privacy settings, one can control how much information these friends-for-the-sake-of-facebook have access to. In fact, the beautiful thing about social media is that you can choose precisely who can and cannot contact you. Yes – you can block the fakes, the vanillas, the etceteras…
I’m afraid the vanilla personality bullshit did not begin – nor will it end – with social media tools. People have been dull, two-faced and afraid to be real from the beginning of time. These social tools have simply amplified it. Self actualization is at the top of the totem pole for a reason.
While its always advisable to have a filter, privacy standards in place and practice, and common sense – being yourself online (like in business) helps you to stand out and develop a personal brand. While all these vanillas will never change, a part of me hopes one day they will. Until then, it will be easier for people like myself (I’m pretty boring, really) to stand out and leverage these tools (for friends, jobs and free shit) by simply trying to be myself (with common sense and privacy in mind).
Speaking of keeping it real…Why is it only the haters that post under Anonymous???
If they really believed what they were saying to and about brasandranties, then they would post under their real names.
It would be the non-fake, real thing to do 😉
"Speaking of keeping it real…Why is it only the haters that post under Anonymous??? " – Don't want her to know who i am, duh.
she thinks she's my friend. or rather, 'our' friend.
Well, with "friends" like you, who needs enemies?! LOL
Someone needs to weed their garden of friends stat! oh my.
something tells us you're wrong about that one. duh.
Great post… I too possess unending curiosity about this strange (absurd) world in which we exist. I often cerebrally wander trying mightily to interrupt the frequency of my philosophic inspiration. It consumes me.
Facebook is narcissism, its a person's reach for their next 15 seconds of fame, albeit local. If it shut down tomorrow would your life be altered? It is meaningless and not something anyone would look back on in their lives and describe as important. The who, what, where, why and how 'gold' of your life does not live on, or through, FB. It is a superficial interpersonal frequency and one that some people try mightily hard to make as bright as possible. The important parts of life are passing you by if you're living in or on or though FB.
Dr. Phil's dad said it best "You wouldn’t worry so much about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did…” Facebook is a FOMO's attempt to be seen. To make up for what seems like a insignificant high school life? Even though their life is but half over, max, with so much more to do? Self esteem issues abound.
I like reading your blog. But back to the philosophical note, George Bernard Shaw is my favorite and he states so eloquently:
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man." B&R, keep on keep'n on… with the unreasonableness, man!
Twitter is full of fake fucks… It's flooded with people living in a bubble… Let's name a few fake fucks such as Smichm, Karmadotca, unbrelievable, that fat idiot 40deuce who talks about his boring ass life… These peope take the prize when it comes to fakery
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