oh dear riri. y’all know i fight for my girl. she wrote ‘rehab’, the song that i forced everyone to listen to for an entire summer while i lip-synched into a hairbrush. she’s been through a lot, and it’s been noted that her style has veered toward the tough and androgynous since the dehumanizing abuse incident with chris brown. i simply cannot, however, award her props for good measure in this particular instance. it’s just too…literal. perhaps in another color, or with a more interesting tie? bras and ranties boos.oh madge. we all know how madge works. it doesn’t matter what they’re saying about you, as long as they’re saying something. take a moment to learn from her madgesty. but there are way more stylish ways to do it. i don’t care that it’s louis vuitton, she looks like she got lost on her way from the bunny ranch and ended up on jarvis.(by the way, the ultimate late-night-cab-down-jarvis-game is to choose which outfit you’d wear if you wear sucking for a buck. make your cab driver play too.)next! jessica alba. for the record, itotally buy into the alba-demon rumour. this is not a nice girl…i have (finally) developed a radar for these things. anyhoo, homegirl’s wearing a miley cyrus cast-off and black tights! fuck/gag!oh blake lively. i used to love you. then i realized that you suck, and no amount of extension-tossing will force me to tear my eyes from encroyable personified, blair waldorf. your pathetic chiffon ensemble with it’s gauche interpretation of asymmetry is causing my eyeballs to vibrate. next.rachel bilson is – sadly – normally a style fave of bras and ranties. i sort of feel like i’m looking at audrina partridge, wearing a dress that rachel might have worn two years ago, and i am so bored. btw, rachel is now living up north @ boyf hayden christensen’s farm house and is often spotted at the bass pro shop on the 400. perhaps this is the issue?helena christensen. what. the. fuck.katy perry. love the colour, hate the fact that it looks like you just bought it at costa blanca. last, and perhaps least, renee zellweger. i’m surprised this bitch is still standing after all the yo-yoing and the seemingly painful microdermabrasion. loved our bridget, but – really – why is she here?
better late than never, i’ve collected the bras and ranties favourites and failures from the costume institute gala, for your pleasure. what do you think of my choices?
let’s start with the failures, since it’s way more fun.