what would bras and ranties do?

hi bras and ranties, hoping you can give me some advice. i’ve been with my girl for three months. she’s seven years my senior and ended a long term relationship about a year ago. we’ve been taking it chill and slow, but have had the exclusivity talk and have intro’d each other to friends. a few of her girls dropped hints when they met me: one said finally, another that her friend should hold on to me. i would say things are going great, except for the fact that when we’re not together, we rarely converse. i’m the one initiating convos; otherwise we’d have no banter whatsoever. and while she’s not secretive, she’s not exactly offering up what else she’s up to. so, what do you think? is she in this or out of this?

out. but technically in. okay, maybe just the tip.
sir it appears your dear has her head in it, but not her heart. for whatever reason (be it friends, be it philandering, be it fear factor) your girl seems to have allowed you close, but just not close enough. three months in is more than enough time for something chill to pick up momentum (enough at least to keep in touch). if you were going to tumble over into the tundra of the attached, you would have done so already. label or not, this girl is not your girlfriend.
who’s to say what compels any human to cushion themselves with space, to build unscalable boundaries, lift the drawbridge to the other side. what we do know is that it’s usually not personal; the head, the heart, the soul have got to each be ready to rumble before a true relationship is made. unless she’s simply a sociopath, it sounds to us like she’s just not there.
it begs the question: how into it are you? if you’re falling for the woman (if you’re content with her pace, her space) then go forth and conquer – you might regret it if you don’t. but be warned: when a relationship is out of balance (when the tug of war for power is so unevenly stacked) it rarely ends well. watch your back, and your heart.

3 thoughts on “what would bras and ranties do?”

  1. Anonymous says:

    out of a long term rel'p for a year, been with you for 3 months…7 months out of a long term rel'p ain't that long. And you refer to her as 'my girl' (and she's 7 years older than you)? Maybe those are clues #1, 2, 3 & 4. Maybe consider she's playing hard to get? Or has a few boys of her own that she's trying to figure out herself. Is the ex completely gone? Nothing is black and white. Keep your options open. Or draw a line so you don't waste any more time. Not initiating calls to genuinely see how you are or what you've been up to?? Dood, maybe she's just not that into you….but likes the attention you provide.
    Call Hitch.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Hrmmmm. This is a concern, yes indeed. I understand where B&R is coming from in terms of if you're falling for her then go right ahead, but really, why waste your time when you're not seeing a return? Cutting a black hole investment is never a regret-even to the wisest investors out there! (Metaphorically speaking)

    Relationships are a two way street, give and take, and it sounds to me as though this lady is just a taker right now. Trying to make a relationship work with a taker (aka: a selfish person) is draining and you'll beat yourself up about it. Maybe pull back and stop conversing(if you can't convince them, confuse them) if you still see no reaction then you have the answer-move ahead.

    Unfortunately there are quite a few people out there who keep someone around for their own sake to make them feel good, wanted, etc.(which personally I've never understood, and think its kinda f*cked/selfish). Good luck, hope you have a clear answer soon so you know which route to take.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Broke up Thursday

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